“As  Red Skelton  used to say, there were these two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff––
Heathcliff: You know, I must flap my wings 40,000 times a day.
Gertrude: You’re putting me on!
Heathcliff: No! I flap 40,000 a day!
Gertrude: Well wouldn’t it just be easier to buy some deodorant?”