“As Red Skelton used to say, there were these two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff–– Heathcliff: You know, I must flap my wings 40,000 times a day. Gertrude: You’re putting me on! Heathcliff: No! I flap 40,000 a day! Gertrude: Well wouldn’t it just be easier to buy some deodorant?”