With a Mogen David on his silver vest
He was mean and nasty right clear through
Which was kinda weird, ’cause he was yellow too.
They called him Irving,
Big Irving.
Big, short Irving,
Big, short, fat Irving,
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.
He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread
Schlepping a salami and pumpernickel bread
He always followed his mother’s wishes
Even on the range he used two sets of dishes.
Irving,
Big, fat Irving,
Big sissy Irving,
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West”